Sunday, August 28, 2005

a malaise

tonight i watched one of my favorite movies "reality bites."

what is it about troy dyer that makes most women swoon? he's a slacker, not emotionally available guy afraid of commitment. he also has all this passion inside of him and wit and sarcasm laced with intellect. he doesn't have a job and is not the most ambitious guy out there. but the guy has ideals that he wants to live by, even if he's not sure how to execute them. and he doesn't want to enter the grinding machine that is the corporate world. you would think that any late 20-something woman would be wanting to find someone who is all the things that he is not, which is true. in the grand scheme of things he is not the best love interest written into movie form. but there's something about certain glances, phrases, a cast falling over his eyes at moments, that make him smolder on-screen.

this afternoon during my cast party, behind the cacophony of voices talking loudly, i heard the u2 song that personifies this movie for me, provides the quintessential transition point "all i want is you". bono's voice was barely discernible, but it's as if pavlov himself was wooing me to watch this movie tonight.

i wonder if there is such vulnerability and directness with good single men out there quite like troy's monologue at the end. but then again, i live in san francisco, where you're hard pressed to find great straight men. and so life continues, tonight in a bit of a malaise.

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