Monday, March 14, 2005

when black january swooped down on green march


i just got pulled over by this cop with a major lisp. here i'm thinking it's because my registration sticker still is in my wallet and not on my license plate yet... but then coppy asks me if there was a reason i was going 44 in a 30 mile zone. and yes, i'm late to work- i can almost see it from where he has me curbed. then he proceeds with "would i like to use his cell phone to call work"- again "hello, i'm a block away, if you would desist from detaining me, i could actually get there less late."

oh but no, i haven't clued in yet that he's going to write me a ticket AND put the registration sticker on my license plate. not until i see him diagonally positioned so he's in full view of my license plate does it start sinking in.

here's what kills me. i am not a bad driver. i know other people who are far, far worse at speeding, at being stupid about paying attention while on the road. but this latest addition to my driving record (because of course, i am not eligible for traffic school due to all the lapses in black january), this is the icing on the cake.

when he came back up to my window, i had this sincere desire to cuss him out. not very christian-like, i know. but that's what was roiling about inside of me. and i had to restrain myself from speaking my mind too much, so i settled with "that's pretty crappy. it was a simple mistake and i don't see why you are giving me a ticket." which in the end was lame, but made me feel a tad better. except then of course he's all smug and saying, "well i asked if you needed to use my cell phone to call work. i hope you have a nice day." oh that's genuine- give me a ticket with one hand and a wave with the other.

so the crux of this particular entry is this: i can see why so many people are jaded at cops. many of them being homeless friends of mine. this particular cop was positioned in the brush so as to avoid being noticed. He was hiding and waiting for some stupid sap to drive by, speeding. keep in mind, my error happened in an industrial district, far from children, families or small pets. And then he seemed to get delight in issuing the ticket. what an a-hole. police are supposed to protect the public, right? so why the need for quotas and subterfuge? he just went ahead and made a cynic out of me today. and yes, i know i was speeding. but i wasn't hurting anybody. there were no other cars on the road.

so i'm thinking now about God and people's perception of Him. i wonder if a lot of people see Him as a cop waiting to ambush them and taking delight in pointing out their sins. but the cops of this day and age are not about Justice like God is. God does not revel in another person's mistakes or wrongdoings- it grieves Him, so much so, that He knew what the price was and that we were guilty, so He sent His son to die for us, that we might have a fresh start. but the price had to be paid. and i'm just venting on a monday morning, with the sun shining outside my window, looking out at the almost bald tree, still kind of seething, but feeling better post-venting.

if you're going to post a comment i would appreciate it not being an "i told you so" kind of comment because that would be truly crappy of you. thanks.


Blogger katy said...


(not an "I told you so." Rather, it is a frustrated "ARRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH" of empathy). HATE it for you!!!!

3:48 PM  
Blogger End_User-X said...

No I-Told-You-Sos. Just Romans 13:1-5. Have a nice day!

8:41 AM  

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