Sunday, September 25, 2005

craft: part i

i’ve been tucking myself away in my room and writing more lately- trying to practice the discipline associated with engaging in the craft itself. a slew of poems have been pouring out, amidst my small space of a room, in which i take pains to bring about the right atmosphere- a burning roman frankincense candle scenting the air, perhaps sade playing in the background and me, turning on the lamp with a coral lampshade which casts its warm, rosy hue throughout the room.

In these moments of dim warmth, I am releasing words on the page that feel utterly close to something like an intimacy between good friends or kindred spirits. But some of it feels too private to share with my writing circle. Mainly because that entails people, even those loved and dear, scrutinizing cherished insights, delicious thoughts, as if they were butterfly specimen on a lab table. Cold and scientific. I suppose it is one of the catch-22’s in life: wanting to understand, but wanting some wonder and mystery to remain. The balance is quite elusive sometimes, even as a portal slightly obscured by sand. Perhaps at times, the way we go about poking and prodding God as if He is one who may be fully known and yet who truly can know the mind of God?

And this week, even my chiropractor admonished me that I should get a move on with it and start trying to seek to get my book published (not that of poetry, but a memoir of conversations and concepts). As he stood over me, about to adjust my neck, he reminded me of the important thing that is risk and the even more important thing that is “the early bird getting the worm.” And so I’m thinking on it again. Wondering when life will tarry just a second for me to work out a game plan. But perhaps I will have to wait until I go overseas when I might be able to immerse myself in writing. Not sure.


Blogger katy said...

What, or more precisely, when are you waiting for?

Timing is everything, yes, and there is a time for everything - according to God's purpose. Sometimes, we have to take that first step in the right direction - in faith - before we even realize what it is we're doing!

Does life 'tarry'?

No - life moves forward at a constant rate.

I'm just saying. . .

9:50 PM  
Blogger Bethany said...

I love (no...really LOVE) what you said about your poetry being too much to be scruitinized. I feel that every time I paint of sketch something (it's what's kept me out of art classes for years!) It's like your heart and soul are out there...all your passion...all your fears...all of you on display for someone to possible reject.

But it is a worthy risk...and I don't think our hearts are ever really ready for it. We just sort of have to jump...

So go ahead and jump...He's obviously telling you to...and He'll make the landing smooth. He's good at that.

11:47 AM  
Blogger Sandra said...

I have to agree with Katy here -- plus I do it all the time myself, thinking "I'll do it at some the future...when I'm not sure...but I'm sure I'll know it...right?"

I'm not so sure there's a "right" time for things. First steps are key, and the most horrible and hard to take of all.

But go for it. If even your chiropractor is telling you to write -- maybe it's time to listen.

10:58 PM  

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