a fluttering in the spirit

i am consumed with thoughts of indonesia. so much so that yesterday i got on travelocity and started pricing airline tickets. this all started after the tsunami hit, even though i have a passion for india, i knew that i wanted to go help out/ do some form of relief work in indonesia a few months after things/relief stuff had settled in a bit. we found after 911 that there was plenty to do in nyc months after the tragedy had occurred- like feeding workers cleaning up ground zero. so indonesia's been in my head already- but i got distracted by everything going on here and chalked it up to me going next year.

i think saturday was when it started getting more tangible. it's in my thoughts constantly- and how can it not be? they just had a 8.7 earthquake two weeks ago and then another one sunday that registered 6.3. yesterday i read that a volcano on sumatra has been activated and is not flowing yet, but is on the watch. i looked at lonely planet monday night and this is what they had to say:

"The emotional toll is just unbelievable on these people," said Jude Barrand, communications director of the non-profit group Surf Aid International, who was speaking to Lonely Planet author Frank Zeller, now on assignment in Indonesia. "We're not just talking sleepless nights and panic attacks. The people from the Hinako islands are choosing to leave their lives behind completely. They prefer the unknown to what they have been through."

all signs point against going- terrorist threats against westerners (thank God literally for my dark coloring, which allows me to blend in better) earthquakes, volcano- but deep within me is this stronger push like an arrow pointing to this multiple island nation... and it's got a strong grip on me.

so i would crave your prayers if you are a praying person or God-seeking person, specifically in the when and what parts of me going.