what lies past the hurdle

4:15 p.m.-- i went to a wedding today- the shortest wedding i have ever attended, really, considering i was only there for 15 minutes, what with a persnickety lemon cake at home and crazy traffic on the golden gate.

prior to going, i knew i would know a huddle of people- the bride, the groom, and a family that lives nearby. originally i thought it would be impossible to attend since we would be in greece, but good ol' me switched up labor day with memorial day- hence me sans date. i am a fan of people- an extrovert all the way, but i have moments of intense introversion. visions of a throng of people and meaningless banter, small talk abound.

we are gathered outside waiting to shower the groom and bride with rose petals. i'm determining mentally whether or not i'm actually going to attend the reception that i've been looking forward to, since it is at lark creek inn. i envision a room full of strangers and i start feeling gross. i'm talking with the mother of the family and resolve that i will not go. that really this is the only right thing to do, since i don't want to affix myself to this family like a leach.

but once i'm in my car, i surmise that really this is not the right answer. i begin to think of all the myriad things i could do in the warm, sunny weather, all dolled up in a black dress, pearls and heels. hmm. frappucino doesn't quite cut it. and it occurs to me that i will not like myself later if i don't confront this and put myself out there. so there i am getting on the 101.

9 p.m.-- i am leaving a great reception, resplendent with delectable bites like a stilton souffle with arugula, pignolia, and grapefruit salad; chilean sea bass, gnocchi, fava beans and celery; wedding cupcakes infused with a shot of passion fruit creme; and edible spoons filled with butterscotch pudding. the people were great too- or not the scary minions envisioned in my mind.

and i will sleep tonight feeling peace at conquering something i felt beyond my accomplishment.